It was a fairly chilly sunday, but we still had a ball...
And I got some great family pictures!!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Family Zoo Trip
It is very seldom that I can get all of us together for a period of time, doing something that is going to make EVERYONE happy...but we did it, at the zoo a couple of weeks ago!
It was a fairly chilly sunday, but we still had a ball...
And I got some great family pictures!!
It was a fairly chilly sunday, but we still had a ball...
And I got some great family pictures!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Grief
Grief is a funny thing. It comes and goes in wave like intensity. I am so very sad today. At one minute, I am ok...laughing even. Then it hits me all over again.
You see, today I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. You who arent pet owners probably wont understand...and you can just click the red X at the top corner...cause I am gonna go on and on...
This was my first baby. She was my wedding gift from my future husband. Actually she started a long line of gifts that I picked out and bought myself :-) She was so very tiny back then. Just this black little fur ball that curled up in my closet and ate my shoes. She was there to expeereince life with me and grew up with me. I was only 20 when I got married and way young in too many ways. She and I learned together. She was there when all the times I went into labor and when I miscarried. Her head on me..staying by my side throughout.
She wasnt always perfect. She tore up carpet and shoes as a puppy. For nearly 10 years I fought a losing battle to keep her in our fenced in yard because she was agile enough to jump it. She barked too much, and honestly got WAY stressed when we left town and had accidents for the unfortunate family members who watched her for us.
But then again She accepted the kittens and puppies with no complaint. She never ever in a million years was agressive to anyone. She went from being our baby, to hardly any attention as we became parents. She took being ridden on, getting her eyes poked and tail pulled with out even a wimper. She was the gentlest dog I have ever known.
In the end she could no longer have her coveted space by our bed since she would fall down the stairs. She couldnt make it all night without an accident. She couldnt even hear us call her name. She dislocated her hip, and went into liver failure...twice. All in which she came back from. Now in a matter of months she has lost 30 percent of her body weight, and has developed some sort of heart murmur. Last night, we fed her and shee couldnt even keep it down. She was 17 years old.
We waited and waited for her to just go peacefully at home. This was no life for her anymore. It was the hardest decision that we have ever made and it totally breaks my heart, but she had no quality of life. Honestly we believe she wouldnt have survived us going out of town again...and we didnt want her to pass away alone.
She has been there for my whole adult life and my heart just hurts. I know that this is the choice that needed to be made, but selfishly I want her back. I wish that we could have kept her forever. How sad it is that our most loyal companions will always go before us?
I just keep seeing her face, and in my head I know that she is truly at rest now, but I miss her so very much. The kids? They are ok. Sad, but they are young and get distracted easily. I, however am a mess.
It is pure selfishness on my part. I realize this, but I cant help it. I take solace in the fact that we both were with her. She was scared, as she always was at the vet, but she had us there with her as she drifted off peacefully. I couldnt have asked for that to have been better. She will be in a place where the kids can visit her if they wish too, for closure. The only other loss that they have had is Tim's mom and they like to visit her gravesite.
Writing this is therapuetic for me. The grief comes in waves over me but I feel slightly better now. There is big hole in my heart for the place she had in it, I am angry and sad, and overwhelmed...but I know that the grief will ease as time passes.
Thanks for listening to me
You see, today I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. You who arent pet owners probably wont understand...and you can just click the red X at the top corner...cause I am gonna go on and on...
This was my first baby. She was my wedding gift from my future husband. Actually she started a long line of gifts that I picked out and bought myself :-) She was so very tiny back then. Just this black little fur ball that curled up in my closet and ate my shoes. She was there to expeereince life with me and grew up with me. I was only 20 when I got married and way young in too many ways. She and I learned together. She was there when all the times I went into labor and when I miscarried. Her head on me..staying by my side throughout.
She wasnt always perfect. She tore up carpet and shoes as a puppy. For nearly 10 years I fought a losing battle to keep her in our fenced in yard because she was agile enough to jump it. She barked too much, and honestly got WAY stressed when we left town and had accidents for the unfortunate family members who watched her for us.
But then again She accepted the kittens and puppies with no complaint. She never ever in a million years was agressive to anyone. She went from being our baby, to hardly any attention as we became parents. She took being ridden on, getting her eyes poked and tail pulled with out even a wimper. She was the gentlest dog I have ever known.
In the end she could no longer have her coveted space by our bed since she would fall down the stairs. She couldnt make it all night without an accident. She couldnt even hear us call her name. She dislocated her hip, and went into liver failure...twice. All in which she came back from. Now in a matter of months she has lost 30 percent of her body weight, and has developed some sort of heart murmur. Last night, we fed her and shee couldnt even keep it down. She was 17 years old.
We waited and waited for her to just go peacefully at home. This was no life for her anymore. It was the hardest decision that we have ever made and it totally breaks my heart, but she had no quality of life. Honestly we believe she wouldnt have survived us going out of town again...and we didnt want her to pass away alone.
She has been there for my whole adult life and my heart just hurts. I know that this is the choice that needed to be made, but selfishly I want her back. I wish that we could have kept her forever. How sad it is that our most loyal companions will always go before us?
I just keep seeing her face, and in my head I know that she is truly at rest now, but I miss her so very much. The kids? They are ok. Sad, but they are young and get distracted easily. I, however am a mess.
It is pure selfishness on my part. I realize this, but I cant help it. I take solace in the fact that we both were with her. She was scared, as she always was at the vet, but she had us there with her as she drifted off peacefully. I couldnt have asked for that to have been better. She will be in a place where the kids can visit her if they wish too, for closure. The only other loss that they have had is Tim's mom and they like to visit her gravesite.
Writing this is therapuetic for me. The grief comes in waves over me but I feel slightly better now. There is big hole in my heart for the place she had in it, I am angry and sad, and overwhelmed...but I know that the grief will ease as time passes.
Thanks for listening to me
An Adventure
A little while ago, Sam and I went on an adventure with a friend of mine and her 2 little ones...
Sam was excited to say the least
We started off on our 1.5 mile hike and got to see lots of fun things...
(Sam insisted I get a pix of the snail)
Believe it or not, the kiddos hiked the whole thing! There is a beautiful hiking area right near our house that we got to enjoy! I honestly wasnt so sure about the idea because Sam didnt do so hot the last couple times we went hiking, but he was a trooper and we had a ball..
Of course a picnic had to follow, with a mud puddle close by!
What a fun day we had!
Sam was excited to say the least
We started off on our 1.5 mile hike and got to see lots of fun things...
(Sam insisted I get a pix of the snail)
Believe it or not, the kiddos hiked the whole thing! There is a beautiful hiking area right near our house that we got to enjoy! I honestly wasnt so sure about the idea because Sam didnt do so hot the last couple times we went hiking, but he was a trooper and we had a ball..
Of course a picnic had to follow, with a mud puddle close by!
What a fun day we had!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Stereotypes
I have a transracial family. Just in case you hadnt noticed :-)
I am a pretty outspoken individual and not really shy by any stretch of the imagination, but I always get stumped when someone comes up with a comment that involves stereotyping my child. Really.
Now, I have a son from China...
{isnt he cute?}
But honestly, you have no idea how many people come up and ask me questions about him. We get the ususal "Is he yours?" or "Is he adopted?" Or one of my personal favorites "I thought China only adopted out girls?" Ummmm...Guess not? Questions are fine, but stereotyping is not...
I am sorry but my son is not going to be smart just because he was born in China, nor is going to be more likely to do anything else just because of that.
There I said it...but why cant I say it in public? and what happens when he begins to live up to the stereotype?
You see, Sam came up to me today and had our little plastic clock I used with Zach when he was learning to tell time.
And the little booger, said "Look Mama, Its 7 oclock, 8 oclock, 9 oclock 10 oclock"...all while he was moving the hands!
Hello??? He is only 3
He also has been known to read the digital numbers off the clock on the stove correctly as well...
So...since the majority of my readers are fellow adoptive mama's (and the rest are family just here for the pictures hehehe) Please let me know: How do you counteract the stereo types...
and what to do when they live up to them????
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hello again
Wow...I have been MIA for quite a while havent I? It really isnt like me to be so horrible about keeping up with blogging, but my new Clipping For Cash blog is keeping me really busy to say the least!
Summer is here and all of us couldnt be happier. lazy mornings, no schedules and lots of family movie and game nights are what we love doing the most. Throw in the fact that my kids pretty much LIVE in their swim suits and you have a recipe for a lot of fun in the sun!!
Lots of days at the Zoo....
Playing Football
and baseball games
rounded out the end of the school year. We had talent shows (more to come) and awards nights, field trips and slumber parties...
It has been a jam packed month and still going strong. We have loads of plans this summer and cant wait.
It has also been a huge time of firsts for us. Sams first time in our pool (which he LOVES) Zachs first sadness at a good friend ! My first summer as a SAHM in a LONG TIME! It has been a time of adjustments, growth, trials and understanding. We are still working on learining to be a family of 6 some days and others it feels as if we have always been this way.
God has blessed us so much and we continue to seek only Him for our direction and guidance. There are things that are heavy on my heart that I simply cannot share but I do ask that you pray for me for knowledge and for guidance in this.
I do promise to be a much better blogger in the future :-)
Blessings!
PS...Thanks for all the well wishes with the potty training. It is coming right along...although I am no where close to not needing diapers yet :-)
Summer is here and all of us couldnt be happier. lazy mornings, no schedules and lots of family movie and game nights are what we love doing the most. Throw in the fact that my kids pretty much LIVE in their swim suits and you have a recipe for a lot of fun in the sun!!
Lots of days at the Zoo....
Playing Football
and baseball games
rounded out the end of the school year. We had talent shows (more to come) and awards nights, field trips and slumber parties...
It has been a jam packed month and still going strong. We have loads of plans this summer and cant wait.
It has also been a huge time of firsts for us. Sams first time in our pool (which he LOVES) Zachs first sadness at a good friend ! My first summer as a SAHM in a LONG TIME! It has been a time of adjustments, growth, trials and understanding. We are still working on learining to be a family of 6 some days and others it feels as if we have always been this way.
God has blessed us so much and we continue to seek only Him for our direction and guidance. There are things that are heavy on my heart that I simply cannot share but I do ask that you pray for me for knowledge and for guidance in this.
I do promise to be a much better blogger in the future :-)
Blessings!
PS...Thanks for all the well wishes with the potty training. It is coming right along...although I am no where close to not needing diapers yet :-)
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